You know how they say things change over time? They are right
but no one ever warns you of the great probability of reaching a point where
you might not be relatable to self. The people who you claim to know since
forever fade away, emerging only as strangers. We justify the change and try to
accustom ourselves to the variables, hanging on to tiny threads of emotions, we
have been feeling since puberty, when the gigantic monster of emotions was
raised by a whirlpool of hormones.
This was once home, full of people. They were not always
kind to each other yet they were one, always pulling each other through tough
times. Years passed by, we began to age. The childhood games started to make
lesser sense and things grew serious. One by one the children grew, till the
parents no longer had to put them to sleep, nor did they need any more curfews.
It was the long silent nights that bear witness to my
memories. How, when the parents room light would go off, little hopes and
dreams would expand and bring together tiny heads under the bed sheet, scheming.
When the cat is away, the mice will play.
Its August 2005, the boats are set to sail. Slowly people
make way to their destinations, making several stops just to ensure the hesitance
they feel isn’t loss but doubt alone. Do you know what it feels like to walk
into a room? A room full of memories, of fights and screams, of love and joy,
of salt and saffron, and find it vacant. Do you hear those muffled sounds, the
air around you makes? Do you know what makes you a stranger in your own shoes?
Year 2009. Home is home again. There is life and shrieks of
joy. There is anger and disappointment. There are hallways exploding with the
past. There is chit chat and ho ha’s. Do
you know what it is like to have them back or how relaxed you can feel because
the walls no longer mock you. There is no childhood left in any of us yet in
being adults we have discovered a childhood of our own.
2010,2011. The sailboats are now huge ships. The kind that
never stop. They are loaded and we say our goodbyes. Farewell is always sad.
Do you know what it feels like to lose family? Do you know why the tears fall
and the heart changes its rhythm to match your mood? Do you know, moving on may
take more from you than promised? Do you know; if you set them free once, they
never really come back?
