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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Final Goodbye.

A week. That's all I have, before my life changes. You, my love, are my precious.
My mother,
My friend,
My energy,

My will,
My love,
My everything,
My SISTER.

You must leave and in that particular way, I am actually happy for you. But I dont like shopping for your departure.
Haan muje pata hai, you will always be there lekin sid, how can we be the same? YOU and ME?

How will 'mina mano' feel everytime her name is called.will mano not miss MINA? isnt that what started it all?the mina mano's , the mina apa's, the mina patti's .....
Will I not be reminded of you, every time I walk in the corridor or when I will sit in the room you, once occupied. Everyday, I shall see the door infront of my room ( our room) and wonder when will I see you again.
Will I want to wear your clothes, marinated in hugo boss?

Tears are streaming down my face, my heart is skipping beats.None of what I have written is emotional but the mere thought of not seeing you everyday,of not having you around and most of all, bidding you farewell is pulling my guts down the well.

I have always relied on you for every little and huge deal!You give me strength but you are my weakness. I need you forever, I will love you forever.
When you left for university I knew you will come back to me.I was sure, we will spend lots of time together building memories which will live till our last breath.

Now, you will be HIS.Forever. Dont get me wrong, he is a great person and inshallah you both will have all the happiness and sucess in the world.Its just that you will be so far away.GONE.
No matter where you go and what you become. Back home,here, in the corner room,where sunrays rarely reach It will always be ME, waiting for you with open arms.

These dances, they tire me. I dont enjoy them as much as I show. I dont really, have the energy to wear a happy face. But today,I will.
Lekin sid, who will keep an eye on me? who will love me,unconditionally? Who will be my best friend and do everything for me,big and small. Who will see me, for me? Who will make me believe in the best of life?and who will put a stop to my worries,panic attacks,depression,anger and every other emotion that I have ever felt?

Love you so much,so very much that now it HURTS.



4 comments:

Eminu said...

Seems like you and your sister are close.
You know even when sister get married off and things change, cause change is inevitable, there is something that never changes. I can't seem to choose what it is exactly. But Something.
They, i guess, never love you a little less. I suppose.

Shady. said...

Magdalena, I think its not that we think they will love us any less. I think it is the fact that she wont be around 24/7. How will we ever replace that?

Eminu said...

Tolstoy said, "There are no conditions to which a man cannot become accustomed."

It's not about replacement, its about adaptation and adopting to the new situation.
It's like going to a new school or a new class, you might not like the people or the subjects but you become used to it. That's how it is.

Anonymous said...

That's the beauty of blood relations. You don't have to be there 24/7 to stay close. In the years, people live together in the same house, share the same things, share the same feelings, share the same experiences, by the time sisters get married, you have shared so much between yourselves that the physical presence accounts for very little. Relationship of heart is much stronger than one can estimate and it takes more than distance to be really gone.

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